


Charity Carlyle

by MusicalFangirl00193



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: F/M, I do enjoy it, I wrote this forever ago, I'm just trying to clear out my draft folder, Look I have no idea what this is, M/M, Trans Female Character, so here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalFangirl00193/pseuds/MusicalFangirl00193
Summary: Phillip Carlyle had never been truly happy. Until he finds his way to P.T. Barnum's circus and learns to be herself.
Relationships: Charity Barnum/P. T. Barnum, P. T. Barnum/Phillip Carlyle
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Charity Carlyle

Phillip Carlyle had never been truly happy. Under his father's wrathful gaze, he had learned to be a man, learned what he would need to know to one day succeed his father as head of the Carlyle family. From the sons of his father's friends, he had learned to tumble and play rough, and as he grew older he learned what they thought of girls, what _he_ was supposed to think of girls.

He remembered being almost 5 years old, young enough that his father left him with his mother most days, old enough that his mother tried to send him with his father. He found his way into his mother's vanity, into her makeup, and he'd made a very thorough mess with it.

His father found him like that, covered in his mother's makeup and admiring himself in the mirror. He had given Phillip such a thrashing that he wasn't able to sit down properly for nearly two weeks.

Phillip wasn't to spend his days with his mother anymore after that.

* * *

Phineas Barnum was the strangest man Philip had ever met, and the circus was the most wonderful place he'd ever seen. Not even a full month into his time there, he felt more at home, more loved, than he ever had with his parents and their mansion outside the city.

“Hey, Carlyle!” Anne called down from the upper level. “I need your help with something.”

“One second, Anne,” Philip called back, finishing his conversation with one of the new acts before heading up to meet the acrobat. “What did you need?”

“I need someone with a different skin tone to practice on,” Anne said, steering Phillip into the room all the makeup, both stage and regular, was held in and pushing him into a chair 

“Anne!” Philip protested, making an obligatory attempt to get out of the chair.

“No,” Anne said, bustling around the room as Philip flopped back into the chair.

Half an hour later, Phineas entered the room as Anne took a step back, proclaiming Philip done. “Wow,” Phineas gave a low whistle. “Phillip, you look amazing. Great job, Anne,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

Anne nodded in acknowledgment before slipping out of the room.

“You think so?” Philip asked, fingers brushing lightly at his jaw, looking in the mirror in awe. Anne had explained what she was doing as she did it, and everything had been done with such a light hand that if he hadn't known to look for it, he wouldn't have seen the makeup on his own face.

“Absolutely,” Phineas agreed. “You’re beautiful, Phillip.”

* * *

Philip started growing his hair out. He claimed that he had just forgotten to get it cut, but even when Lettie and Anne were giving everyone else haircuts in the main ring, he didn't bother to ask them to cut his as well.

Phineas offered, when Phillip's hair was long enough to get in his face as they went over the numbers of admission, to braid it back for him. Phillip hesitated for a moment before nodding once. Phineas moved to stand behind him, quickly braiding Phillip's hair out of the way. Phillip couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine when Phineas's hand brushed against the back of his neck.

“Thank you,” Phillip murmured when Phineas stepped back.

“Of course,” Phineas said with a smile that Phillip couldn't quite place before returning to the papers on the desk.

* * *

The first time Phillip saw Lettie wearing trousers, he had to take a moment before he continued.

“You look like you've seen a ghost there, Flip,” Lettie called as she finished putting up the tent she'd been supervising construction of. “You alright?”

“I'm fine,” Phillip answered, “I think Phineas is looking for you though.”

“Alright,” Letty answered, heading back to the main tent.

* * *

When Phillip got back to the tent he shared with Phineas, he found a wrapped package waiting for him. “Phin?” he asked, fingers trailing over the box. “What's this?”

“Something I've been working on for you,” Phineas answered. “Why don't you try that on while I finish up a few things in the office?”

“Alright,” Phillip agreed, waiting for Phineas to leave the tent before opening the box.

Inside was a beautiful coat made of the same material as Phineas's ringmaster jacket. Pulling the garment out of the box, he noted that the cut of the coat was different from that of Phineas's.

Where Phin's jacket felt his knees with an open front to show off the ornate shirt beneath, this fell to mid-calf and wrapped around Phillip more like a dress when he pulled it on. Looking in the mirror, Phillip frowned at himself for a moment before removing the trousers he was still wearing and pulling on the heeled boots that had appeared in the wardrobe a while before. Returning to the mirror, Phillip smiled at what he saw for the first time in his life. He let his hair down, running his fingers through the tresses that now reached mid-back.

“You look beautiful,” Phineas said from the opening of the tent. “As always.”

“Did you make this?” Phillip asked, spinning in a slow circle so that Phineas could see the whole outfit.

“Yes, I did,” Phineas answered, “Your old one got destroyed in the fire.”

“This isn't exactly a man's jacket,” Phillip murmured, arms crossing over his chest.

“You're not exactly a man yourself, are you, sweetheart?” Phineas asked gently. 

Phillip wouldn't meet Phineas's eyes. “I know,” he murmured. “I'm unnatural.”

“Hey,” Phineas stepped forward, pulling Philip into his arms. “None of that now. You are who you are, and there's never anything wrong with that.”

Phillip let his head rest on Phineas his chest. “I... I don't think I've ever been a man, Phineas.”

“That's perfectly fine, sweetheart,” Phineas said with a kiss to the top of the younger's head. “Do you have a different name you'd like to use?”

“I've always liked the name Charity,” the young lady offered with a shy smile.

“Charity Carlyle.”

“Barnum,” Charity interrupted.

“Charity Barnum,” Phineas corrected with a smile of his own. “It sounds wonderful.”

Charity smiled, leaning up on her toes to press a kiss to Phineas’ lips. “I love you,” she murmured against the warm skin.

“I love you, too,” Phineas said with a fond smile. “Let's go to bed, hmmm?”

“I think that's a wonderful idea,” Charity agreed, letting Phineas lead the way to their bed.

* * *

Phillip Carlyle disappeared overnight. The next morning, Phineas revealed another item he made for Charity. It was a dress, much simpler than the coat that was now hung up in her wardrobe, but perfectly serviceable for the day-to-day running of the circus.

“When did you have time to make this?” Charity breathed. “And the coat last night? Honestly, Phineas.”

“I don't get to use the skills my father taught me often.” Phineas paused, looking at Charity with the type of raw reverence one only got when looking at something holy. “Only for something important. You are the most important thing in my life, Charity Barnum.”

“After the circus.”

“No,” Phineas disagreed, stepping forward and standing behind Charity where she was admiring the dress. “You are more important than absolutely anything in the world. I love you, Charity.”

Charity smiled, turning in Phineas's arms and leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “I love you too,” she murmured. “But we've got some work to do.”

“Of course, darling,” Phineas agreed, taking a step back. “I'll see you in the office. Lettie wanted to talk to you this morning.”

Charity nodded, eyes following Phineas out of the room as she carefully finished getting ready.

* * *

Charity hesitated outside of Lettie's tent for a moment before calling out to the bearded lady.

“Come on in!” Lettie called back.

Charity pulled back the tent flap, entering. “Phineas said you wanted to see me?”

“I did. It looks like you've got some big news. Good night last night?”

Charity flushed hotly. The troupe had teased them exactly the same way when she had first gotten together with Phineas. “I suppose you could say that,” she murmured.

“Do you have another name you'd like us to call you?” she asked, leading Charity to the small table she had set up in her personal tent.

“Charity,” the younger woman answered. “Charity Barnum.”

“Barnum?” Lettie questioned, raising an eyebrow even as her eyes darted to Charity's, still bare, wedding finger.

“I feel more at home here than I ever have anywhere with the Carlyles,” Charity answered. “I feel safer with Phineas than I ever have in my life, more useful. Why wouldn't I want to claim him as my own?”

“You gonna let us throw you a party then? Not every day our ringmasters get themselves hitched.”

Charity smiled brightly. “I’d like that,” she agreed.

“Wonderful!” Lettie exclaimed, clapping her hands and pulling out a stack of papers, showing Charity what she already had in mind.

* * *

Charity's first show as herself is exhilarating. As the final number came to an end, she scanned the crowd, seeing Phineas clapping harder than anyone else before continuing on, only to freeze when she saw two people in the audience who weren't clapping.

Her parents. They were sitting in the middle of the crowd, both sets of eyes locked on Charity as she moved with the rest of the troupe to usher the audience out.

“You're white as a sheet,” Anne murmured as she moved next to her. “Do I need to get O'Malley?”

“Not yet,” Charity answered. “It's just...my parents are here tonight.”

“Do they recognize you?” Anne asked, finding the two in the crowd. “You’ve changed since we moved out here.”

“I think so,” Charity said, overly aware of the fact that her parents hadn't moved since the end of the show. “On second thought, it may be a good idea to get O'Malley and his boys.”

Anne nodded, slipping away with a significant look at Lettie, who seamlessly moved to fill her spot.

“Charity?” Phineas was suddenly at her other side. “What's going on? You look terrified.”

“My parents are here,” Charity explained, subtly nodding to the stationery couple.

Phineas nodded. “Anne went to get O'Malley?”

Charity nodded, grabbing Phineas's arm as he made to go towards the couple. “Leave it, Phineas.”

“Charity,” Phineas protested.

“They don't matter, Phineas,” Charity said. “Not now, not ever.”

“They're coming this way,” Lettie murmured.

Charity nodded, not releasing Phineas until he nodded, moving to stand at her shoulder as her parents approached.

“Mr. Barnum,” Mr. Carlyle spoke, disdain for the man clear in his voice. “Where is my son?”

“I have no idea who you're talking about,” Phineas said at Charity's small nod. “But your daughter is right here.”

“Mother,” Charity spoke for the first time since her parents had approached. “Father. Did you enjoy the show?”

The Carlyles looked over Charity for a moment, until Mr. Carlyle's expression turned into a sneer. “Come along, Victoria,” he said, turning with the gesture towards his wife.

Mrs. Carlyle hesitated for a moment before following her husband out of the tent.

“Charity?” Phineas put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” Charity murmured, collapsing into Phineas's chest.

“Let's go back to our tent,” Phineas suggested, already heading that way. “You look exhausted.”

“Thank you,” Charity murmured, letting Phineas lead her out of the main tent into their personal space.

* * *

Charity hadn't felt well for weeks, but everything came to a head when she fainted in the middle of rehearsal one day. She came to, several minutes later, to find the whole circus in an uproar.

“What's going on?” Charity murmured, cracking her eyes open, finding her head cradled in Phineas's lap.

“You fainted,” Phineas said, brushing hair out of her face. “Anne sent a runner to find Thomas.”

Charity sighed, sitting up carefully. “I'm fine Phineas, I'm sure Thomas has more important things to be doing.”

“Passing out in the middle of rehearsal isn't fine, Mrs. Barnum,” Charles said from the foot of the stand where Phineas and Charity were sitting. “Thomas is here.”

“Thank you, Charles,” Phineas said, standing and ushering the tattooed man into the room.

Charity took a moment to realize that the ring, normally so bustling and full of activity, was completely empty except for the three of them, Charles having left after passing Thomas off to Phineas. “Hey, Thom,” she said, giving the tattooed man a tired smile.

“Heard you weren't feeling too well, Mrs. Barnum,” Thomas said with a warm smile.

“I'm fine,” Charity insisted. “Everyone is just overreacting.”

“Well I think you should leave that call to the professional, don't you, Mrs. Barnum?”

Charity rolled her eyes, but submitted to the cursory examination. Which became slightly more serious as Thomas continued asking questions. “I'm sure I don't like that expression, Thomas,” she said when he stopped asking questions. “Is something wrong?”

“I'm not quite sure,” he murmured, “Forgive my intrusion, but are you and Mr. Barnum...sexually active?”

Charity immediately flushed scarlet red before nodding once.

“Well then, congratulations, Mrs. Barnum,” Thomas said with a smile. “You're pregnant.”

* * *

“You're surprisingly quick in those shoes,” Anne commented, finding Charity hiding with the animals.

“I've had a lot of experience running,” Charity murmured.

“I noticed,” Anne came to stand next to the other woman. “You ran away to join the circus after all. Want to tell me why you ran away this time? Phineas is worried.”

“I know,” Charity sighed, “I can feel him hovering by the door. I assume you've heard the news by now?”

“Everyone has,” Anne said with a nod. “Everyone's excited. Circus's first baby.”

“First?” Charity said with a laugh. “Who mentioned more?”

“If you haven't seen the way some of these people have been looking at each other, you’re blinder than Madame Mirela.”

“Madame Mirela caught WD and Lettie in flagrante delicto yesterday, I'm still not convinced that she's blind,” Charity scoffed. “What if I'm not cut out for this?” she whispered. “What if I'm not designed to be a mother, Anne?”

“Every mother thinks that,” Anne comforted her, putting an arm around the ringmistress’s shoulders. “Every father does too.”

“Phineas is going to be an amazing father.”

“And you're going to be a wonderful mother.” The two women stood in silence for a moment before Anne stepped back from the other. “But right now, I think he would like to make sure you're okay.”

Charity nodded once and, barely a breath later, Phineas was at her back. “I suppose I need a better hiding spot,” she murmured, turning to face him.

“Only if you don't want to be found,” Phineas said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “What do you think about this?”

“Do you think we'll be good parents?” Charity asked instead of answering.

“I think we just have to give it a shot,” Phineas answered. “And if we mess up, there are plenty of people around here to tell us so.”

Charity laughed. “So what's everybody saying?”

“Half of them are absolutely shocked, and the other half is surprised this hasn't happened before now.”

“That sounds about right,” Charity settles a hand on her own stomach, where she can just barely feel the small bump that she's only just become aware of. “We're going to be parents.”

“We're going to be parents,” Phineas confirmed, hand moving to rest on top of Charity's. “I love you,” he murmurs, leaning in for a kiss.

“I love you, too,” Charity returned, words breathed against Phineas's lips.

* * *

Caroline Barnum is born 10 minutes before her father is due in the ring. Despite this fact, Phineas is still the first person to hold her, marveling at how small she is before being pulled out of the room by Lettie, with Charity's blessing.

By the end of the show, Charity has made her way from their tent to the shadows backstage, Caroline cradled carefully in her arms.

“Charity!” Phineas is at her side the instant he's done with the show, chest heaving and smiling with the exhilaration he only got after a show. “What are you doing here? You should be in bed.”

“I wanted your daughter to see you in action,” Charity said, letting Phineas take the sleeping infant from her arms.

Phineas smiled brightly, pressing a kiss to Charity's temple before leading her to the stands to take a seat.

There, Charity held court once the audience was gone, showing off her daughter, barely two hours old, and enjoying the warmth of the family that she had made for herself. Charity leaned into Phineas's side, watching as everyone cooed over the newest addition to the family.

“It's everything you ever want." Charity felt Phineas’s chest vibrating under her head, taking a moment to realize the sounds as words. “It's everything you ever need.”

“And it's here right in front of you,” Charity murmured back, voice just as quiet. “This is where you wanna be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in December of 2018, I don't even know.


End file.
